Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Too Many Changes!

Ok, everyone that knows me know that I am a fan of changing things up.  I love trying new foods, new things, learning different things etc...  so it REALLY caught me off guard how much I was thrown off of my game on the 1st day of my new job.

Now, I've neglected to really write anything about the upcoming job change because I didn't want anyone finding out before they were actually supposed to, however now the cat is outta the bag and everything is a done deal.  I must say it was a much longer process than I planned on it being!  It wasn't an easy decision either, but in the end, I left my corporate job as the onsite manager at Allstate to go back to recruiting.  I did this for a number of reasons, but the bottom line is that the company I joined is at an exciting time and I wanted to be on the ground level of what's beginning there.  It's hard to explain in type, so I really won't attempt to...suffice to say I'm very excited about the opportunity at hand.  All that being said...I'm SCARED!!  HA!  I was feeling as fine as it gets in the weeks leading up to my 1st day.  I was nervous about leaving my replacement all alone, but the day had to come at some point.  Allstate will definitely be taken good care of by my replacement, so that made me feel better about moving on.  I never expected to have such a negative reaction to my 1st day though!

I set my alarm for 6am, made my lunch the night before, and made sure to set out the clothes I intended on wearing the next day.  Alarm went off and immediately my stomach was in knots.  My body knew something was different.  I struggled through the rough start of my day and got to the train station in time to park, buy my 10 ride ticket, and pay for parking.  Thankfully I got downtown earlier than the office was expecting me, so I took my sweet time getting to the office.  I arrived at my new building - looked up...all around...the buzz and noise of the city, all the people, new place, new things - nothing familiar...all at once I felt overwhelmed and like a lost child.  I frantically scanned the lobby for the nearest bench - nearly ran to it.  Sat down.  Took a couple deep breaths...eyes welled up... then I thought "RACH stop!  You have make-up on and you can't fix it!" I fought the tears back and blinked a few times - ran my fingers through my hair and glanced around as if to act like I'm waiting for someone.  "This is a mistake, you should've stayed in your comfy position, how can I get used to this?  What am I doing here??"  All these frantic thoughts went racing through my head.  The peace I had prayed for so urgently on the train had seemed to just slip through my fingers all at once.  I called the only familiar person I knew was in the office.  Thankfully he not only picked up, but came down to the lobby and bought me an iced tea.  Ahhh - instant comfort.

The rest of the day was filled with meeting new people and getting my computer set up.  It was boring, exciting, and overwhelming all at the same time.  My new boss and the office admin took me to lunch, so that was wonderful.  Everyone seems to be very nice.  I'm looking forward to settling in.

Also - in other news I have stopped only following the couch-to-5k plan.  I need variety.  Since I last typed I've done a couple Pilates DVDs and went jogging today.  I still do more fast walking than jogging, but I'm getting exercise, so that's good.  I'm making better choices about eating too.  I do my best to bring my lunch and not skip meals...which is super hard for me.



daniel.and.stefanie said...

ahhh I'm so excited for you!! Thanks for sharing this post about your first day- I honestly can't imagine all the emotions you were feeling! I felt like I was there next to you ask you were describing it. I can't wait to hear more about it later!

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